I dunno how :|

Look…I really really know how much

You care for him

You cry for him

You cherish him

You loved him

But have you ever taken time to think abt how my relationship wid him had been.

A guy I hated for all my life..suddenly a part of my life again…..and this time in the form of replacement.

Yes darling! He replaced me from the moment you were his. The moment you loved him. I wanted to give you space and wished it was permanent. I am killing myself again and again by giving and taking hope. Hope that you and I will be back to the old us but the saddest part is I already lost you…I lost you to him…forever.

I lost you to the guy I hate. 

when we started I never knew this’d happen. I never knew you would make such an important part of my life…my soul sister.

You are my bestie

We ain’t the same old us

He is a stranger

But friend altogether

Today is our anniversary too….our anniversary of losing each other. In fact this moment last year we were unknowingly spending our last few moments as besties together.

I really don’t have any idea how to tell you this. Never ask me about this cz I’ll never open up. This is a chapter I wish to close from my life forever. How I wish it was easy..losing you and forgetting you…it has taken more time for me to get over you than get past my breakups.

I hate his name.

I hate any connection of me wid him.

He is gone away from me

But took you along wid him

Born to be my hate he is

I just can’t face him again

Even by coincidence

It has become my nightmare

I still love you no matter what…But it ain’t easy to forget the past. You are happy wid your besties though you forgot me. I’m happy too wid my besties who mean the world to me right now though I wish you were one amongst them but then I realise it’s too late.

I have to let you free cz you are not mine anymore like you used to. 

sorry….for being possessive about you. For selfishly keeping you to myself. I can’t change the past but I learnt my lesson.

Nobody can love you the way I do but your ego can never accept it. But its alright now that I learnt to move on. Let go. Live free of owning. I own nothing now. My only relief bein this blog.

I just wanna tell you that I always wished the best for both of you despite everything that happened. I am also taking this space to wish both of you a very successful future whether with each other or not.

You are free to hate me if you read this but I just can’t be you in that case.

Yours forever


Ps: I have no idea what I have written above. All I know is that this was very necessary and my purpose of this space is the same… to get over things that hurt me in life. I don’t even care if you read it or not. I find relief in writing it down despite it being temporary.


26 thoughts on “I dunno how :|

  1. It is always good to get things out, whether writing them down or speaking them out loud. To hold them inside is not healthy. I found that out while trying to deal with my past and move forward. Keep writing and keep smiling! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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